Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
