So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
