p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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