Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
