Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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