You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
You can't just leave with hair like that
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
