before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
