Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
