WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
