How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
