dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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