The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
he fucked my hip out of place.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
