Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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