Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
