I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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