we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
