do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
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