just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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