I'm drive I can fine osifer
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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