everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
