How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
