Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
