If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
