I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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