I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
