No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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