i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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