I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
