He is like the real live version of the state fair..
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
