i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
