I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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