it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
