You're so nebulous sometimes
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
