so explain again why im purple
no
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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