Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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