i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
