And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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