Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize