worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
