so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
