That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
