just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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