Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
