5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize