I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Randomize
