Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
