Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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