What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
