that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
