You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
