2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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