dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Randomize
