I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
