Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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