The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
then he tried to convert me to islam
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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