I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize