dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
