I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
