Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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