Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
