there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
