Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize