i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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