ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
