Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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