your room smells of hookers.
And success
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
