Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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