he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
