There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
