Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
