just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
