No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
