Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
