I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize