Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
