Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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