I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
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