I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
It was confusing and full of hummus
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
