Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
