she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
