He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
