I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
