When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize