What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
My pussy is not your playground.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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