Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
