I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
