she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize