Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Randomize
