cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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