My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
