You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
